How To Repair A Relationship: Lessons Learned From The Discovery Channel...
by George Karanastasis, M.D.

Men and women are different in many respects but when it comes to relationships those differences become much more pronounced. And while one might argue that these distinctions are directly to blame for “unhappy endings”, they can in turn be used to repair a relationship if rightly understood. The purpose of this article is to point them out, explain why they exist, and how you can effectively leverage them when attempting to repair your own relationship. 

First, let’s establish the main difference between men and women and what they seek out in relationships. By nature, when a girl gets together with a guy she’s looking for security. And I’m not referring to financial security (although in many instances this very well could be the case). What I am referring to is the confidence in knowing that she and her offspring will be taken care of. And it doesn’t matter if the thought of babies has never crossed her mind at this point in her life.

Why?

Because whether it’s a conscious thought or not… it’s an instinctual determinant for selecting a partner, nonetheless. This is the way that nature genetically wired women to behave. They seek out dominant males that can ensure the successful propagation of their genes. Don’t believe me? Just spend an afternoon watching the Discovery Channel to see how valid this statement is.

So with this in mind it’s easy to understand what men seek out in relationships: to provide security for their partners. Again, and just like with women, this may not be in the forefront of a guy’s thoughts when selecting his “mate” but it is his own specific motivator for getting with a girl, nonetheless.

So how does all of this fit into relationship repair? It’s simple: if women are seeking security in their relationships then men must strive to provide it. And if your relationship is in need of repair then you must to take a moment to think about all the ways you might have failed to do so and what steps are necessary to correct this.

For instance, if your girlfriend is about to leave you then attempting to persuade her to stay will not work. Why? Because it’s an act of desperation that screams of insecurity. However, if every one of your actions is geared towards gaining her confidence that you’re not only willing to provide security but completely capable of doing so, you’ll have much more success in repairing your relationship.

Here are some examples of this:

• Making it known to her (not verbally but through actions) that you don’t need her in your life – you simply want her
• Showing her that you’re in complete control of your financial future (and security) through responsible spending habits
• Instilling trust in her that you’re highly committed to her by having a well thought- out plan for the outcome of the relationship

So in conclusion, while the sexes are different when it comes to unions, these differences can be used to a man’s advantage to both repair a relationship and make it into stronger, everlasting bond. All that’s required is a little insight into the driving forces that bring two people together and the underlying factors that ultimately make them “stick”.

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